Just Relax and It Will Happen - The Fertility Advice No One Wants to Hear

Just relax and it will happen.

It’s the kind of well-meaning but often hurtful advice many couples hear when they’re trying to get pregnant. And if you’re reading this, chances are you’ve heard it more times than you care to count.

These words can often hit like a punch. When you’re in the middle of it, grappling with uncertainty, heartache, and frustration, the idea that all you need to do is “relax” can feel infuriating.

Whether you’ve been trying for a while, been diagnosed with “unexplained infertility“, experienced one or more miscarriages, or are facing secondary infertility (that surprise where you had one child easily, but now it’s not happening), the journey can feel overwhelming.

The truth is, it’s never as simple as “just relax.”

Fertility is Complex

Fertility is not just about biology—it’s a mix of physical, emotional, and often, deeply personal layers. Every woman’s journey is unique, but there’s one thing many share: the pressure, whether self-imposed or external, that their bodies are to blame.

Let me say this clearly: It’s not your fault.

So many women carry the burden of thinking that you should be doing something differently or that there’s something wrong with your body. These thoughts can add unnecessary stress to an already challenging situation.

The reality is, that fertility is not just about physical health, and no single piece of advice will unlock the solution. The reasons you’re not conceiving can be a mix of subtle and unseen factors, both physical and emotional.

The Hidden Emotional Struggles of Fertility

Another thing that often gets overlooked, is the emotional toll.

The deeper, invisible part of the journey that doesn’t show up on a fertility test but weighs heavily on your heart and mind.

Each pregnancy announcement from a friend stings. On the one hand, you’re happy for them – but it still hurts. You find yourself avoiding baby showers or feeling isolated because you can’t bear to be around other pregnant women.

Your life begins to revolve around cycles, ovulation windows, doctor’s appointments, and endless waiting. Every month brings the anticipation, the hope – and sometimes, the heartbreak.

Intimacy, too, can begin to feel like another task on the to-do list, rather than something joyful and spontaneous with your partner. It can lead to frustration, pressure, and sometimes distance in your relationship. The thing you want the most – bringing a child into your life, starts to feel like it’s pulling you apart instead of bringing you closer.

It’s mentally and emotionally exhausting when the thing you want the most feels so far away.

More Than Just Biology: Fertility’s Hidden Challenges

Having studied homeopathy and worked with women facing fertility and hormonal challenges for over 20 years, I’ve seen firsthand that fertility struggles run much deeper than just biology. Yes, the physical side is critical, but the emotional and mental layers are equally important, and they often go unaddressed. Stress, grief, trauma, and even past losses can impact your reproductive health in ways you may not even realise.

How I Can Help

If you feel like you’ve done everything right—cleaned up your diet, changed your lifestyle, followed all the advice and taken every supplement, but you’re still feeling stuck, I want you to know there’s more to explore.

You don’t have to do this alone.

If you’re interested to know how my one-on-one Fertility Programme can help increase your chances of getting and staying pregnant I invite you to book your free 15 minute call here.

During our conversation, we’ll clarify your goals, identify any blocks that might be holding you back, and discuss what a personalised plan moving forward could look like for you.

Together, we can explore new possibilities for your fertility journey.

I look forward to speaking with you!